3. Be yourself. Sigmund Freud, whether you agree with him or not, had a few cool things to say. One of them was "We leak the truth from every pore." Phoneys get discovered sooner or later. If you pretend to be that which you are not, you will very quickly find yourself with less friends, less connections and less opportunities to meet someone who is right for you. Of course, remember how important it is to show yourself in a good light.
6. The dreaded chat up lines . ‘Give us a good chat up line then’. This is the initial response from a most men when I tell them I teach flirting. Many women will have heard some of these chat-up clichés before. It won’t do you any favours guys. There is no such thing as a ready to wear line. Each ‘line’ should be a genuine sentiment of what happening at the moment. Sometimes the simplest opening gambits are the best. Sometimes by paying attention to the person you want to flirt with and noticing their good points, you will come up with a natural and successful line. And if you can’t think of one saying "hello" with a smile and walking on by with a glance back... is my favourite all time successful line!
8. Accepting compliments, brushing off rejection. Sometimes we store rejection in the place we should reserve for compliments and vice versa. What do you take to heart? Where do you store your rejection and criticism? Do you take it deep inside or do you hold it away from you so that you can look at it objectively and learn from it. You can shrug it off when you have done learning. Where do you store your compliments – Do you throw them off? Or do you take them deep into your heart and glow? Learn to put things in perspective. Look out for compliments, take them in and shrug off rejection. Begin to notice your feelings and where they are located in your body. Simple awareness is sometimes curative.
9. Making the first move. 95% of the men I interviewed said they would love women to approach them. Ladies, you already have taken initiative in many areas of your life. Making the first move doesn’t have to become a habit, and it doesn't have to be a 'Sex and the City' type of approach! It's just an alternative way of doing things. Variety is the spice of life eh? From time to time you can enjoyably make the first move. If you see someone across a room that ‘does something for you’ , make up your mind to connect with that person. Follow your instincts. Too many of us don’t listen to our deeper instincts and miss out on wonderful opportunities.
11. Personal Space Are you a space invader? You’ve probably encountered those people who get that little bit too close for comfort. No matter how you wriggle, they continue to loom ‘in your face’ Be aware of how others react to you. Test space using gentle moves and calibrate their reactions. Watch the mouth, the eyes, the skin colour. Mouths get larger, lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes, changes colour, muscles around the mouth move and vice versa. Become a detective of other people’s signals.
12. Energy Awareness What kind of energy do you live in? Are you a fiery wild type who is always hyper-burning and active? Are you a flowing watery type who sways and sashays or crashes through life, or are you airy fairy, floaty or hurricane-like, or are you earthy, solid deep rooted and passionate. We all MOVE differently.. Just begin to check out people around you. Notice how they move and how they talk, fast, slowly. This is their energy... and when you become aware of it, you can lower or raise yours to pace them and slowly lead them up or down to a place that both of you can communicate in. Ever seen someone talk really fast to someone who talks really slowly... it is an uncomfortable feeling and if we are going to interact with people, we need to make them feel comfortable. One rider here - don't change yourself to BE like them and don't think you can really CHANGE them. If you don't like it and can't lead them to more neutral ground.. LEAVE!