Why do I Need to Know How to Do It?
Developing the ability to flirt is an essential element in the art of meeting and establishing contact with some of the other 63 million singles in America. Flirting can affirm a woman's feminine charms or make a man feel good about his masculinity. It can really boost your ego and make you feel more attractive, more sensual, more desirable. Flirting with your date makes him or her feel wanted, exciting and captivating. Your date will feel flattered, appreciated and good about themselves when around you. That good feeling will spread and they'll feel pretty darn good about you, too.
Words are easy to use when flirting. Commenting on the color, style or fit of the clothing being worn is great, but often with words it's not so much what you say, BUT HOW YOU SAY IT. Tell her that she has beautiful brown eyes that twinkle when she smiles and I'll bet that lady will smile at you all night! Tell the handsome fella you are talking with how rich and masculine his voice is and how you could listen to him talk all night. Watch him beam with pride! Alternatively, telling a woman that she "has a spread like the Ponderosa" would most likely be interpreted as an insult, and, unless you wanted to be totally ignored, probably won't get you the reaction you were hoping for.
Flirting by touch is great, but must be done with caution. Not everyone is comfortable with being touched by someone they don't know (especially women). But gently picking "lint" from his jacket sleeve, gently placing your hand in the small of her back as you guide her through the crowd, or touching an arm during conversation to emphasize your point are typical non-threatening ways to flirt with touch. Leaning in close and brushing against your Flirtee so that he/she gets a good whiff of the cologne you are wearing is another subtle way to touch and get away with it!
- Avoid flirting with someone else's honey. You look less than righteous (rather trifling actually), and could really hurt someone's feelings or start something you are not prepared to finish.
- Don't expect that because someone flirts with you that you are owed their time or anything else. Relax! Look upon the flirtation as a pleasant way to pass the time.
- Don't flirt to make someone you are with (or want to be with) jealous. It will most likely backfire and you'll end up looking like a fool.
- Remember that flirting is subtle. Overt sexual innuendo (unless it's with your main squeeze) is not flirting… it's a proposition! Avoid verbal comments or behavior that could be construed as an overt sexual invitation.
- Lastly, flirt only with the one you really want, not the one that is easy to get. Often what happens is the one you really want is watching you, and then decides that you weren't really flirting with or interested in them anyway.